Sunday, February 17, 2013

truth seekers.

Dear Kids,
Happy Sunday!  Today as I was running down a quiet country road I began to cry.  I was thinking about my dreams for you and today all I can truly say that I want you to be when you grow up are seekers of the truth.
 Truth comes in all forms.  There is truth that is absolute.  There is truth that is relative to each person and each situation.  There is truth that is whole and there is truth that is skewed.  Truth is based on perspective in the world that we live in but the truth that I beg you to seek is that of Christ.  
I hope that you find truth based on your own convictions, but more importantly I hope that you are led to new convictions based on the truth that you have sought.  I pray that your ethics, your ideas, your entire being is so wrapped up in the things that you learn to be true that you will never let this world hinder or deflect you from that which you have tested to be true in yourself.  

Truth is everywhere.
It is found in nature and art.  It can be in disease.  Truth is in the eyes of the elderly and the disabled.  Truth is something that is found, searched after, longed for.  It is unchangeable.  It doesn't move.  It is not swayed.  It is unending.  It is special.  

You feel it in your spirit and you know it deep in your soul.  Something within you lets you know that the growth that you're doing is based on new truth and the old truths that you once held dear don't so much matter anymore.  That's ok.  It's part of the process; your journey.
Please know that truth itself; God, cannot be changed.  
So when everything in your life is different than you once imagined it to be or even changed from how it once was, always know that you can come back to that life giving source, Jesus.  

There is truth buried in Him.  He will never fluctuate or trap you.  He will never condemn or betray you.  There will be people who claim to know the truth who will do those things, but please know that when they do they are not people that you need to surround yourself with rather people you need to move on from.  But before you do, learn from them.  Tuck something inside of yourself that reminds you that you want to be different and then BE DIFFERENT.

Kids, 
I didn't cry today because I am sad.  Today when I was running I felt complete and total peace, freedom and happiness.  I want you to know, as your mom, today...I felt like myself.  
I felt happy.
I have sought after truth and I have found it.  
It was not where I once believed it to be.  Now it is in the sacred places of our home and the crevices of my heart.  I whisper to Jesus in the dark of night and rather than hear Him like I once did, I feel Him in a much more honest way.  

I sought truth and I found it.  
Please don't ever forget that
Tonight as I sat across from two of my greatest friends at dinner, I felt happy.  
We talked of babies and life.  We laughed and ate food that was delicious and rich.  
And I was happy.

Our waitress asked about your sister, Mabel.  She herself has a special needs daughter who is beautiful.  She shared her with me and I shared Mabel with her.  It was an encounter that was not by chance, rather by purpose and I am grateful.  

A year ago I may not have been ready to talk of the joys and the triumphs of this life.  But tonight I was ready and I didn't cry.  I spoke about your sister with pride and honesty.  
I felt stronger.  I felt adequate.  I have grown.
There are going to be things in your life that are so deeply difficult.  
And in them I pray that God would wrap you up in His thick, perfect mercy and drown you with Himself.  Allow Him to do that because if you do not you will drown in things that are so wretched, so lonely that it will feel hopeless.  

Tonight as I looked into the eyes of our waitress I saw so much wisdom.  I saw so much strength.  I saw years of acceptance and victory.  

Your journey will be your own but I pray that when others look at you, they will know immediately that you have searched for and found the truth that sets you apart.  
God tells us to Seek Justice.  Love mercy.  Walk humbly with Him.
And I'm telling you to also seek truth and the rest will fall perfectly into place.

2 comments:

Jaime Crawford said...

So beautiful.

Courtney Westlake said...

Just beautiful. The photos of Mabel - all of them, always - are breath-taking. Your writing is so powerful and inspires me in my own journey - both my writing journey and as a mother.