Thursday, August 23, 2012

where i need to be.



There are things about life and learning that change from day to day.  There are things that are constant and feel solid.  Both are vital for us and essential in our growth as creatures who evolve both emotionally and spiritually.  
 My garden is the place where I find comfort.  It's a solid reminder of why it is I do the things that I do. It helps remind me why I believe the way that I believe and why God has created me to be me.  There are things that my garden says to me, with a subtle glance in her direction that only she and I understand.  It sounds silly but if I die-please picture me in Heaven, dancing in a garden filled with a combination of both beautiful, planted flowers and strange wildflowers.  That is the dance that is my life.
 Things uncertain.  Things not planned.  Things very settled in my spirit and things that I wrestle with.  Choices that are the right ones, decisions that are wrong but made right with time.  
It's all essential for peace.
 There are a few things that I know I'm doing right.  I feel them deep in the inner most part of who I am. I know that it is where God has me in that exact moment and it is good.
So well with my soul that I could die from happiness overload.
 And then there are moments when something doesn't feel quite right.  It seems like a good decision.  It appears to be the right choice and yet far within, I know it isn't.  I've often fought long and hard against myself-maybe just to prove that I'm right or that I can stick out a choice that was maybe not the greatest. But I've changed.  I am not the same.  And now I can step back and quickly do something different rather than be that person that I once was.
 There is an effect in our lives that is contagious.  It is this empowering effect to focus on the things that are really important, make the choices that are right for yourself and your family and stand by those who need your support.  In doing so, something so right wells up from inside and everything lines right back where it needs to be.
 Today is one of those days.  A great day of good choices and right-for-our family moments.  
It's hard to back away, backtrack, look at things in hindsight.  But it's absolutely necessary.
It's exactly where I want to be.

1 comment:

Ashleigh Cramer said...

I just found your blog on Top Mommy Blogs and I have to tell you how adorable I think your kids are! (I am a little partial to red heads). Anyway, have fun on Saturday! I'm sure it will be great!