Mabel, my love:
Today you are 15 months old! A beautiful, smiling, gentle 15 months.
In 15 months you have given me all that I could have ever hoped or dreamed. I love being your mama.
I love waking up to you, stretching your arms out wide. I love reaching into your crib and wrapping my arms around your infant-like frame. Sweeping you up and smelling your cheeks, I whisper 'I love you's' and thank God for your innocence. It's such a gift to me. I carry you down the stairs every morning and your brother's voice changes into the sweetest and most loving sound. You smile up at him, knowing that he adores you. Watching you throughout the day, I feel overwhelmed by the presence of Jesus that you bring. It's a calm. A peace.
You are seeing so much better now. Your vision is improving and although you have many bad days, you are learning to compensate for the loss. You have begun using your 'tapping' as a tool to find faces and recognize those around you. You can spot me across a room, and you smile knowingly. It makes my whole world right just to see you; longing for me. I want nothing more than to be a good mom for you, baby. I am still so thankful that you will let anyone hold you. You make everyone around you so incredibly happy, Mabel.
You still are not sitting unassisted, although you are prop-sitting for much longer periods now. You get tired very easily and we try not to push you (except a little bit in therapy.) You get overstimulated and you still don't love being held for very long. Your body is fragile and weak so we let you rest instead of passing you around. You are bearing weight through your legs a little more now, and we are even going to start practicing with a gait-trainer this week during physical therapy!!!
This week you will be getting your g-tube to help with feedings. This has been a hard decision for your dad and I, even though we know it's best. I hope you know that we pour all of ourselves into each decision we have made for you in this journey. We spend time in prayer and we talk to one another often; making sure we are on the same page about your needs. We feel strongly that this is going to help you grow and gain strength.
You love your sister, Nora so much! She will say something in a funny voice and you will look around for her. And Harper--she is still your best friend. Your constant companion who will stop whatever she is doing just to kiss and hug you. She adores you, Mabel. You are so lucky!
Daddy and I are so proud of you and thankful for you. You will never know how many valuable lessons you have taught me in the last 15 months, Mabel Audrine. You have changed me completely and for the better. I will forever be a better mother because of you. I will forever be more in love with Jesus because of you. You are doing big things little girl and you don't even know it yet...
Happy 15 months, Mabel. Here's to great things in the next 15.
You're my whole world.