Monday, September 26, 2011

expectations.

This weekend was Apple N' Pork here in our town.  It's the weekend that I wait for all year every year.  Some of my fondest childhood memories are of me sitting on Nanny & Pawpy's porch at the big white house on Webster and watching people walk by us constantly with new things in hand.  I loved to see what they would buy and where they had come from.  The Apple N' Pork is a huge fall festival that includes a TON of vendors from all around here.  They sell anything from food to candles to decor to bows.  It's the one tradition that helps me ring in the most amazing time of year. 
This is the time I fell in love and this weekend always reminds me why...
 Rache set up a bow booth and we got to sit all day on Saturday and watch the people walk by, just like when I was a child.  It is interesting and it fulfills my need to be just social enough but not too social.  It's an awkward balance of watching and talking.  But it was wonderful. 
And then on Saturday night we had grandma and grandpa's annual wiener roast.  It was such a good time, as always.  We ate hot dogs, roasted smores, took a hayrack ride and wreaked of burnt fall air.  It was just about perfect.
Except I remembered in the midst of all of our activities just how different our life is now.  I saw a copy of my old "What to expect when your expecting" book laying in the closet today and thought to myself that it's the dumbest book ever written.  Because nothing is like I expected. 

 For instance, no one expects to have to split their family in order to do fun activities.  I never thought our baby wouldn't be able to do the things I love most because it's too cold or the smoke may cause her to have a reaction. Thankfully we have wonderful grandmas who enjoy their time with her--but it's not what we had in mind.   No one expects to walk your baby in a stroller through a large crowd of people and have a dozen of them comment about how red her cheeks are, how tired she looks or even how 'she's slumping over...just so you know...' 
No one expects to be so boldly approached. 

Oh, and no one expects to feel their stomach drop every single time this happens.  No one expects their friends to not understand.  No one expects to have their marriage shaken.  No one expects their baby to have seizures or vision impairments or weak muscles.  No one expects those things.
But then again, no one expects to have amazing people step up all around them and love them even though they have only met online or spoke on the phone one time.  No one expects to form a community so strong in such a short amount of time.  No one expects to have friends care enough about you to consider your feelings before even thinking about having another baby.  No one expects the type of kindness that people pour out so generously, even by sending a special card in the mail. 
These things are beautiful but there is no book that explains it all. 
No book to guide us parents; who ended up with the life we didn't expect.
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Mabel had a pretty weak week.  Odd isn't it?  She can do so well for so many days and then it's a major energy shut down.  She slept alot and had very little vision connections.  She is doing very well sitting though and we are so proud of her!  She also did a couple of new things in vision therapy today which was encouraging.  She is also babbling some now--'mama' and 'dada' do make their way out of her babbles and whether intentional or not, we are eating it up.
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Nora and Braden are doing great in school!  This week we are learning about the Sun, the letter s, how God created light, and tying it all together.  It's been really fun watching Braden interact with alot of Nora's schooling. 
Nora is also doing great in dance and enjoying it so much.  She is learning alot.
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I emailed Mabel's surgeon and hopefully we'll hear something this week about both the biopsy and the g-tube.  As always, thank you for your encouragement and prayers.  We are blessed by you!

2 comments:

Tiffany said...

Oh, Ramee. Keep going. You are be carried in prayer, and I can see Jesus in you.

A Day The Lord Has Made said...

"Let The Little Children Come Unto Me" comes to mind. Yes, that means, let them come to me uninhibited, however, to me it also means, give Mabel to me...I will handle the rest.
I know that's what you are doing, and I see how He has you in the palm of His hand...everyday....

she is "this little light of mine (yours)" in such a dark world, she is just that little spark, that light light that keeps on shining. :)