Tuesday, November 16, 2010

the greatest 4 months.

Dear Mabel,
Today you are 4 months old. This exact week last year was the time when I found out that I was pregnant with you. It seems too hard to imagine what life was like before you.
I loved you at the very first thought of you. I imagined a sweet, quiet girl. I dreamed of a baby that would let me hold her without being too busy to lay still. I prayed to God that He would bless me with a timid, sweet, bright-eyed girl.
He did that and so much more.
You have slept through the night since the time you came home. It is such a blessing to me. Sometimes when things around me seem too loud or too chaotic, I glance your way. Often you are in the swing-sleeping or smiling. I cannot help but sigh with the knowing that God made you completely perfect and completely unique. He formed you so intricately, Mabel, and you are called for such a sweet purpose.
You have the biggest blue eyes right now and your brunette hair is slowly fading to a deep auburn. Everyone asked me when you were born if I thought it would change and I said no. Now, I am second guessing that. I love the way the sun hits your perfect little head and shines through the new hairs that are growing. It's such a wonderful surprise.
You smile all the time and have recently started giggling out loud. You cannot laugh without doing a fake cough and even if I'm not in the room, if I hear you cough, I know that you are smiling. It makes us all laugh. It's your own little quirk.
You are so long. Your legs just keep growing and everyone comments on how big you're getting. Just two weeks ago you weaned yourself from nursing. Mommy has cried alot because you were such a great nursing baby and I wanted to be able to share that with you for a long time. You are very satisfied no matter what you're doing so it's much harder on me than it is you. That's comforting in itself.
We sing to you alot.
"Mabel Audrine Mabel Audrine prettiest girl I've ever seen."
"Audriny weenie weenie pants; Audriny weeny weeny pants"
You laugh. We laugh.
You have brought so much joy into this home, Mabel.
I want to tell you how much I love you but to put it into words is far too difficult.
The way you smell, grin, cry, eat, sleep and breathe is so overwhelming to me. I have a bond with you that is so unique. It is so special and so gentle.
You represent so much of what I am not and I envy that about you already.
Gentle, calm, quiet, easy going, patient, and so so loving.

Everyone who sees you notices something wonderful about you, baby. You are such an intimate reflection of my love for your daddy and his love for me. Every time I look at you I am so thankful that God chose you for us. I pray daily that I can be in tune with the things that you need because you are an individual and already are much different than Nora and Braden. I will learn with you as you grow and I know that you are mine for a reason. You still want to look at me constantly and focus on me immediately. I love that about you--you have a need for me that is deep and I am thankful.

You have blessed our lives in so many ways, Audrine. You have made me a better mom already. I cannot wait to watch you grow and change and to mold you into a wonderful woman of God! I love you more than life.
You are my calm in the storm, love. Thank you for that.
Happy 4 months!
Love, Mama

2 comments:

Lady Rink said...

This made me want to wake Hayden from his nap and hug him. I love the first picture! And I also love fake cough laughs. Especially when the tongue is sticking out and they are followed with a squeek <3

Verena said...

Oh wow..how fast time goes by...4 months!!! The pictures are too cute and even on the pics she looks so pleased, calm and just happy.
In a few years you can sing: Mable, Mable, get those elbows off the table...lol.