Friday, May 21, 2010

Colors; compare & contrast.

Well Color Week is coming to a close (maybe).
Let's sum it all up, shall we?

Yellow= Fun, bubbly, happy-go-lucky, carefree, vocal
Blue= Likes order, lives in a box, follows rules
Red= Aggressive, dominating, powerful, vocal, determined
Green= Laid back, peaceful, wants everyone to get along.

If Jesus were to walk into a room where all of these colors were and say to them,
"Hey everyone--follow me," each color may respond like so...
Yellow= "Ok Jesus! Anywhere you want to go; let's go now! This sounds fun!!!"
Blue= "Um, how long will I need to pack for? Where are we going? Should I print directions?"
Red= "Sounds good, Jesus, but how about I lead and you follow?!"
Green= "Sure I'll go but only if everyone can go with us..."

This is my favorite part about this whole journey for me--learning how each color can better interact with every other group. I literally see people differently after doing this test. I see each person in color and have even heard my husband remark, "That's his green coming out..." I'm so glad so many of you were interested in doing the test to learn not only about yourself, but about your spouse and children as well. Hopefully it has been and will continue to be very eye opening. I'm sure I'll be receiving emails for weeks explaining situations about colorful households!!!

I'll start first with personality types of parents vs. children.
We all know that different children need different things. If you believe that you can raise your children all the same in every area, you may encounter some difficulties and not fully understand why. Each of us is made up so uniquely. It's the way God intended it to be. This has taught me that remaining consistent isn't quite as important as meeting the needs of each of my individual children. I'm going to do a quick summary of certain important things that we can do for our children based on our colors, and maybe I'll write in more detail about specifics at another time.

Encouragement for children:
If you are a yellow parent--
You are an encourager at heart so positive words taste good in your mouth. You are usually very good at seeing the upside and expressing it. Just watch out for flattery that is insincere, over-stated and fawning. Children sense when praise is sincere and earned.

If you are a blue parent--
In your desire to have everyone do things the right way, you can be critical and hard to please. Tell your children what they are doing right--not wrong. Most children already know when they have done it wrong, but they need reassurance about the right part.
* Don't hold back your praise until children do it right. Encourage every step of the way. With praise, children have a better chance of getting it right. Blues are usually good at specific and detailed praise. Just remember to praise step by step!

If you are a red parent--
You may be very stingy with praise. You hold back praise until the final product is complete. Do not wait until the result is achieved. Praise the process & each tiny accomplishment. If you hold back praise, waiting for completion, you may never see completion. Remember it is a process not product that moves a child toward good self-image.
* Don't forget to praise your child for character qualities. Acts of kindness, honesty and becoming a quality person are more important that many accomplishments.

If you are a green parent--
You are usually great at praise. You understand the building concept of praise and positive affirmations. Be careful not to use too much flattery and move into insincerity.
* To the silent observers who are green, don't be silent when it comes to praising and affirming children! Speak up!

Catch a Child Doing Something Right:
If you are a yellow parent--
This will appeal to your love of the opposite. If you observe your child doing something positive, affirm him or her, the minute the timing is right!
*This yellow group can get sidetracked and move on too quickly and forget to affirm. Don't forget the child needs this food for healthy emotional growth!

If you are a blue parent--
You will notice and you will affirm at the right time. Just don't be too picky. If they did nine things right and kind of messed up number ten please, for the sake of the child, talk about the nine things they did right! At another time, kindly work on number ten.
* Don't let your perfectionism get in the way of praise.

If you are a red parent--
Remember you are placing your attention on process. If he or she is beginning to do something right and it's not finished, catch him in the "off to a good start" stage and affirm him. Verbalize words of encouragement that state you know he can go on and you are there for him.

If you are a green parent--
Be observant and watch for positive behaviors for which you can arrirm your child. Greens are naturally good at affirmations when they are paying attention-so be sure to pay attention!

Don't Label Your Kids:
If you are a yellow parent--
You, like all personality types, have been labeled and compared. Because you have such big hearts and are cheerleaders of life you will understand this concept.

If you are a blue parent--
You are a very realistic non-sense and practical. Sometimes giving the benefit of the doubt is hard for you.
But don't call children negative names; they might grow into them.
* Try to look through the eyes of love with the children in your life.

If you are a red parent--
Don't 'bottom line' the children in your life.
Practice giving them the benefit of the doubt.
* Mercy often works over justice and is more productive which I know you can appreciate!

If you are a green parent--
You are the kindest among us. Labels and comparisons are ways to exclude and ostracize. You understand acceptance and inclusion. You know the damage that can be done with labeling and comparing. Don't be guilty of it.

Threats to Children:
If you are a yellow parent--
Your highly verbal group is usually guilt of threats. You also have a developed imagination, so you can make up some real out of the ordinary threats.
* State the behavior you expect and the consequences if not followed and stop talking before you make threats to follow.

If you are a blue parent--
You need to be divided. You have the no nonsense people who don't threaten. You state the rule once and expect it to be followed. When it is not, you take action. Those in the second group use nagging and whining. You have developed such a bad habit, you don't even know you are practically sing-songing the threats. Stop, no one is listening, and you are driving everyone crazy with noise.

If you are a red parent--
You are often low in the "repeated threat" department. However, sometimes you are high in the "punishment does not fit the crime" department. Because you like everything effective and efficient, you become annoyed when children behave like spirited children.
* Some reds over react with too strict a punishment for the infraction. Use the concept of logical consequences.

If you are a green parent--
Your gentle spirits are not comfortable with the kind of out of control threats made by other groups. You usually don't threaten like other groups do. Your group's threats sound more like a plea. If threatening is called for and harmony is gone, you are not happy. You are pleading with the child to shape up so peace can be restored.
* Try to avoid pleading and clearly state expectations.

Moving on to Similarities and Differences within the color groups for adults. This is one of my favorite things to learn about. How we are all the same and how we are all different. It's important to understand, especially if you have a spouse of a different color!!!

Similarities of yellows and blues:
Both groups feel that People interaction is important.
Acceptance & Approval from others is of the up most importance to both groups.

Differences between yellows and blues:
Simple Personality vs. Complex personality
Playful & Casual vs. Serious & formal
High profile vs. Low profile
Likes large groups vs. Like intimate groups
Trusting vs. Suspicious
Innovative vs. Creative
Flexible vs. Structured
Spontaneous vs. Planned
Likes change vs. Dislikes change
Scattered productivity vs. Systematic productivity
Hang loose vs. Uptight
Direct vs. Indirect
Close enough vs. Precise
Generalist vs. Specialist
Possibilities vs. Practical
Relationships vs. Tasks
Feeling vs. Thinking

Similarities of yellows and greens:
Relationship oriented.
Casual style.
Good natured.
Welcome advice.

Differences between yellows and greens:
Spontaneous vs. Steady
High profile vs. Low profile
Possibilities vs. Practical
Stimulating vs. Soothing
Aggressive vs. Passive
Pro-active vs. Reactive
Impulsive vs. Methodical
Emotional vs. Logical
Socialite vs. Loner
Likes change vs. Dislikes change

Similarities of yellow and red:
*Strong verbal skills
*Loves freedom
*Risk takers
*Arguments stimulate them (bad in a home with 2 yellow/red combos;)
*Possibility oriented
*Present and future oriented

Differences between yellows and reds:
Relationship oriented vs. Task oriented
Good natured vs. Impatient
Carefree vs. Intense
Non-possessive vs. Possessive
Scattered productivity vs. Targeted productivity
Accepts advice vs. Does not want advice
Unfocused vs. Driven
Undisciplined vs. Well disciplined
Shares emotions vs. Does not share emotions
Feeling vs. Thinking

Similarities between blue and red:
Want to be in control
Task oriented
Makes decisions with head
Complex personalities

Differences between blue and red:
Detailed vs. General
Specifics vs. Big picture
Dislikes change vs. Creates change
Self righteous vs. Arrogant
Pessimistic vs. Optimistic
Focuses on past vs. Focuses on future
Practical vs. Possibilities
Perfectionist vs. Productivity
Indirect vs. Direct
Process vs. Progress
Quality vs. Quantity
Analytical vs. Logical

Similarities between blue and green:
-Compliant with rules
-Dislikes change

Differences between blue and green:
Task oriented vs. Relationship oriented
To be good morally vs. To feel good within
Analytical vs. Logical
Intense vs. Relaxed
Focuses on past vs. Focused on present
Demanding vs. Non-demanding
Complex personality vs. Simple personality
Formal vs. Casual
Thinking vs. Feeling
Highly structured vs. Medium to low structured
Self-focused vs. Others focused
Self-righteous vs. Non-judgemental
Needs to belong and affiliate vs. Self contained
Likes group progress vs. Solo or very small group
Leadership vs. Independance

Similarities between red and green:
Logical & independent

Differences between red and green:
Task oriented vs. Relationship oriented
Control others vs. Control self
Please self vs. Please others
Change vs. Stability
Delegator vs. Doer
Tense vs. Relaxed
Impatient vs. Patient
Demanding vs. Non-demanding
Tactless vs. Tactful
Gives advice vs. Seeks advice
Poor listener vs. Good listener
Possibilities vs. Practical
Thinking vs. Feeling
Multi-tasking vs. Single projects
Likes lots to do vs. Overwhelmed with too much
Achievment vs. Enjoying
Doing vs. Being
Results vs. Process

Do you see yourself and your spouse differently? Do you understand why some of your needs or theirs may not be being met? I sure did. I also understood alot of why we are who we are especially in our parenting. I can also see my friendships in a whole new way, and hopefully will be able to improve them because of what I have learned!!!

Ok, so maybe I will write more about colors sometime later, but for now I need a break:) We are heading to St. Louis this weekend for a family getaway. It will be our last as a family of 4 and I am so excited! I will have all the details with pictures next week (and alot from this week to catch up on!!!) Enjoy your weekend, friends. And be sure to email me with any questions or insight you have that involves colors. I love love love hearing from you about it!!!
Pray for our safe travels & that our 'reds' can get along well enough to enjoy this awesome opportunity to enjoy our family!!!
I'll update soon.

1 comment:

Firecracker said...

HA HA HA I still think that's to funny, when we get internet back after we move, I'll let you know if I'm a red too!
You go red's ! I 'm a praying for your travel mercies to be a plenty!
Be safe, and enjoy those am-ni-mals! lol