Saturday, April 10, 2010

Dear Nora,

Dear Nora,
I have always written you letters. I hope you look back on them and realize how deeply you were loved. There is something about you, lady, that is so special to me. It's this beautiful obsession that I have always had with you. When you were in my tummy, your dad and I prayed for you so intently every day.
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You turned out much different that what I thought you would, baby. You are much more quiet and calm (most of the time) than I thought you would be. Yet, you are a firecracker too. You love your daddy and his guitar...

Just like you always have...

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You have a love for all things big and small. You are intrigued by the world around you and you intrigue me with your amazement. You are unbelievably smart! I know that teaching you is going to come extremely easy, because you have a strong desire to learn. It's incredible the faith you have in Jesus! I love your heart. You trust me, and you trust daddy. You love your brother so much it almost hurts me to watch. You are protective and motherly. It is a powerful thing to watch you make decisions and take charge of a situation already. You very rarely have to be disciplined because your feelings get hurt if I even talk to you about something you've done wrong.
You say things sometimes that are inappropriate... ...and I try not to laugh, but can't help it. Because you're just so cute running through the house naked screaming, "stinky butt!" I love everything about you from your beautiful hair down to the pinky toe on your feet. You are made just perfectly and it amazes me. You like to dress yourself and you're quite good at it. You enjoy eating corndogs and hot dogs, and you love salt. You are growing so tall! You're starting to gain a little bit of weight which is fun for us to see because it reminds us of when you were a little baby!

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But you aren't a little baby anymore. You're going to be 4. And it makes mommy sad.
So much has changed in your 3 years of life! And now mommy is having another baby; a sister for you to love and nurture the way you have your brother.
It's hard to believe you were so little when you became a "big sister."

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And just like everything else, you handled it with grace and ease. Because you're Nora. My light. You have strengthened me on my hardest days. You have blessed me more than you know. You are such a gift to my life and I never want to have to be without you. Your daddy & I love you so, so much.
Lately, you have been feeling Mabel move inside of me and you love it. You always lay so still and wait patiently for her to kick you. And you always know when she does, without me telling you so. I am so grateful to God that He is giving you a sister! After all, your Aunt Jeni is my best friend and I couldn't live without her either. You will love this little girl so much, Nora.
I am trying very hard to seperate my prayers for you and Mabel, but it is so hard for me to picture her being different from you. After all, you're my only girl so the image of you is all I have in my mind to understand what she may be like, or even look like. You were so beautiful (even at 4 days old.)
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I strive every single day to be the kind of mom who will teach you the most important things in life. I want to teach you that loving a man, marrying him and having his children are the three greatest things you could ever do in this life. I want to show you that being a stay at home mom, or homemaker could also be one of your greatest accomplishments, and I will most definately support your decision to do those things if that is where God leads your life. I want to show you that nurturing your relationship with the Lord takes work, and is sometimes difficult, but it is beyond rewarding.
I have always had a clear plan of the things I knew I wanted you to learn from me. Now, as you're growing, there are times when I feel I fall short. I ask God daily to help me be a great example and godly mother. I hope that someday you'll remember me as such through these most delicate years of your little life.
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Yesterday I saw freckles on your nose. I wanted to cry. And daddy wanted to cry. Freckles mean your skin is moving from it's 'baby phase' to it's 'big girl phase.' And although you'll always be our baby, the reality is, you are growing. You are changing. You won't stay small forever.
And I'm ok with that. I love being your mom, and I look forward to being your friend. I know we'll share great things in this journey of life.
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So, baby, I just wanted to write to you today because I woke up and saw youou lying on the floor of our room on your pallet and I was amazed.

Amazed that you're mine and that I get to wake up every day and share this life with you.
Amazed that I love you so deeply. Amazed that you love me in return. Amazed that you are changing so much and so quickly. Amazed that God has given us the greatest gift that we could ever receive. I am amazed by you and I love you more than I ever knew I could love.

Some things may be changing in our lives, Nora, because God has big plans for our family! I hope you always feel the security and peace that your dad and I pray so delicately for. You will never have to worry about anything because the Lord has His hand on us. We will explore new chapters together and it will be exciting! You are the greatest gift, and you're so incredibly beautiful.

I love you.
Mama

4 comments:

sarah kay said...

your post today was so sweet!! i am amazed at the pretty young lady that Nora is turning into.

i, too, can't wait to see the first few freckles on my daughters' noses. very cute!

i just know that she is going to be a fabulous big sister, just as i am sure you were to jeni.

xoxo

Tiffany said...

Oh, Ramee. This had me in tears. Your Nora is a beautiful girl. I just loved the baby photos of her - with her strikingly blue eyes and shock of gorgeous red hair - what a doll. I love how you love her, and write about it. Nora will treasure this someday. I hope you have a lovely day.

PS Momentous Monday starts on my blog tomorrow! Just wanted to remind you. {grin}

Tiffany said...

I was just thinking about our children and our love for them, and I am always AMAZED to know that Jesus loves them MORE! Wow.

Anne Lindsay, Photographer said...

Hi,

My name is Anne Lindsay and I'm looking for people to become Red Friends on my blog. Are you interested? Enjoy those redheads.

Big Hugs, anne@annelindsayphotography.com
Anne