Tuesday, February 2, 2010

Writing without thinking.

I forgot to mention that first thing yesterday morning, Braden threw a toy at my head and it immediately left a swollen knot and kind little headache that is still present today. So much so that I had to part my hair in the opposite direction to cover the bump that is now very visible.
So if Im slightly scrooge-like in the post to follow, now you know why:)

I havent felt much like blogging, mostly because there isn't alot to say. I have been overly emotional, very weepy and have had a couple major breakdowns in the last few days. This is the most I've cried in a long time, and I can attribute it all to hormones. I felt the baby kick Sunday during church and again the other night in the bath. It's awesome and I love that I'm going to start feeling him. I'll be 15 weeks tomorrow and still don't look pregnant if I wear the right clothes. A huge difference to pregnancy's past. I feel overwhelmed if the kids want to be held all day (which was yesterday) and then I feel guilty for feeling overwhelmed. I love holding them. My body is just tired.

I left the house to go to the library yesterday. They didnt have the book I wanted. So I left the van parked there and took a short walk to gain some sense of sanity. After 10 minutes I was cold and my leg was throbbing. Apparently after months of rest, it still hasn't healed. It was one year ago this week that it began hurting. One whole year. Then I felt sorry for myself for the rest of the night-because the one thing I enjoy doing for myself (walking, exercising, etc.) I can't do because of this bum leg. Not only is it frustrating but it is heartbreaking.

Then I went to get gas. I wanted to bring home some coffee for Daniel. I went inside and ended up spilling the whole cup in the Shell station. I almost cried right then and there, but I made another cup, offered to clean up the mess, and cried in the van on the way home. And then for 2 hours afterward. It was just a long, bad day.....
In my pregnant mind at least.

Because in the big scheme of things, I know that yesterday I was blessed beyond measure. I know that God looked down on my family with favor and gave us another day to enjoy one another and this beautiful world. I know that He is constantly giving of Himself to provide for me and my beautiful children. And they sure are beautiful!!!

I made Maple-Mustard Chicken in the crock pot last night and thought at least I'd have that to look forward to. However, everyone hated it, including myself.

Happy Groundhogs Day!
6 more weeks of winter? Only the Lord knows for sure.
You have no idea how badly I look forward to spring days and sunshine with these babies. Those are truly the best days of my life!!!


Tiffany said...

Oh, Hon. Praying for you right now. Email me if you need to.

brandy said...

I am praying! ((HUGS))
I feel kinda selfish asking this after the day you've had! But will you please pray for us too!