Wednesday, January 6, 2010

Nora is mastering the art of fit throwing!

I want to journal some of my thoughts of the last few days for my own memory. Anyone who has had experience with a tempered 3 year old--feel free to email me with any helpful suggestions. Anyone who thinks that what I am about to write is due to Nora eating only sugar is sadly mistaken because I can barely get her to eat anything, let alone sugar.

My well-behaved little lady has suddenly become the world's greatest tantrum thrower. I have no idea what triggered this week from the depths, but I do know that I'm at my wit's end. She wakes up hateful, she throws a fit immediately and ends up in a crying rage, she is biting herself, throwing herself around and screaming uncontrollably. This has basically lasted for 4 days.
Nothing has changed or occurred in our lives to trigger something so dramatic. She is just having meltdown after meltdown. When I say tantrum, I should make it clear that I mean "extreme" tantrum.

Granted, we have been cooped up in this house for quite some time due to the freezing weather and all of us being sick. I know that sitting here day in and day out can take a toll on anyone, but it is just ridiculous. I have taken the approach of remaining calm, for the most part. However, how do you stare at a screaming child who will not calm down long enough to listen to a word you say and remain calm? You walk away. Or I do. Alot. And when she bites herself, I let her. I stopped her at first, but she understands that it causes pain and she does it anyway. Why??

My mom always said that I started throwing terrible fits at 3. I always prayed against it in my children. I understand alot of it is normal. She doesnt know how to process her anger completely and etc. But she has always thrived on being obedient and well behaved. She loves pleasing us with her behavior. And in her good moments over the last few days, she still does. But in her off moments, life seems unpredictable.

I suddenly feel so disconnected from her. How do I even begin disciplining or correcting the behavior when I don't understand the root of it? How do I manage to remain calm and goal-centered when the goal is to simply calm her down and she wants nothing of it. I believe alot of it is for attention, but then again, I'm just not so sure.
For instance, she sat in her closet for close to an hour today and was content just being there. When I walked in to try talking to her again, she would scream "Get out of here! Get out!" and began another crying spell that lasted another 25 minutes. It's just bizarre.

So I'm trying to plug through these long winter days. Figure out how we can create things to do that will keep my children focused and entertained without losing their minds. Or mine.
And I might be close.
I have had a tension headache since Saturday. And now I'm beginning to think I know why.

Do your kids throw fits? When did they start?
How do you deal with them?

We're supposed to get another 5-7 inches of snow tomorrow.
Pray for us:)


Tiffany said...

Oh, praying for you. I wish I had some wisdom. Do you think it could possibly be sensory overload from Christmas??? Hmmm.

Amanda said...

I've heard 3's are actually the terrible 2's...I cannot wait for that in another year! Whenever Daniel starts to cry and scream I calmly sit by him and wait it out or continue what we would normally be doing at that given time during the day and wait for him to get it out of his system. If he turns to hitting then he does get a time out in his room until he quiets down and then he is allowed out. He is a new boy once he has a few minutes to himself. Could it be that she is having some new growth and is struggling with changes and new emotions?

charmedmomma said...

Nothing has changed or occurred in our lives to trigger something so dramatic.

You say this but really something has occured Ramee. You are PREGNANT. Nora could very well be jealous of her future sibling, or angry about it. She may not say that is what she is upset about to you, but it could be part of the problem. Im not saying its a bad thing, just that your newest little one could be the reason Nora is so upset. Just a thought, delete it if you want.

Kalli said...

We've been dealing with this a lot. Ry will often times wake up sobbing and will not stop for hours. I've found that at times she wants one thing an exact way-but by the time I figure it out since she won't speak to me, she's all worked up and keeps crying anyway. She enjoys the attention of listening and taking care of her "responsibilities" but she has been lieing, giving dirty looks, talking to us super hateful and so on. I don't think we go ten minutes without a snotty response to something. I've tried a lot to stop it, coaxing, pleading, bribing, loving on her, leaving her be...I get impatient a lot because the constance of it..but I let it run its coarse or send her to bed. I understand feeling disconnected so much and I'm glad you said it-I didn't know if something was wrong with me. I notice a lot of jealousy in this house lately..and I actually just bought her a responsibility chart that has things like speaking kindly and sharing-maybe Nora would like something like that, too.

Kalli said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Tiffany said...

I don't have time to shoot you an email, but I hope to later. You are on my mind this morning. Praying for you and Nora today. Praying specifically God grants you wisdom, grace, and patience. Praying that today with your Nora is such a blessing!! Praying that you can find the glorious in the mundane today. Praying, sweet bloggy friend of mine!