Tonight was the Christmas parade here in town. We took the kids and it was so beautiful! It was snowing and other than it being so cold it simply seemed perfect. The kids enjoyed it and I was glad to be able to show them Santa Clause. My mom and I sat in the van while Daniel and my dad stood outside with them, handing them into us every now and then to get warm. It was over all just an awesome night!!! Oh yeah, Felicia and Alex are home! They came by today for the first time in over a month. I cried. Alot. I cant explain how good it is to have him in the same room as us! Felicia looks great (skinny and relaxed.) I cant wait to spend more time with them and see the kids.
I just wanted to take a minute to write something that I hope to never forget about this time in my life. Not only am I a 24 year old wife and mother of two, but I am also the happiest and healthiest that I have ever been. I attribute this to God first and foremost. He gives me this awesome strength and desire to be conscience about my body and my health. He gives me endurance to wake up every day and keep going. He gives me passion and determination to be better and better and to live a healthy lifestyle. Secondly I really think that changing my life around comes from a sense of truly figuring out who I am, how my own body works, what it needss to function and survive, what it can do without, what it should do without, etc. It's about tuning into ME and being present with myself every day. Learning more and more about what I am capable of is pushing me to do more, grow more, challenge myself, get stronger and be better.
When I say that I am at my healthiest, I dont mean just physically. I am by all means extremely healthy right now. I exercise every day and it is constanly on my mind. I want to be physically doing something to strengthen and tone my body at almost all times. I love that! But mentally I feel calm, peaceful, restful and yet energetic, lively and whole. I feel accomplished and yet have set more goals to reach (not with weight but more so with strength). I haven't had a migraine in almost 3 months! It's amazing how tuning into myself has changed so many things about my daily life. I love being aware of this person that I am. It empowers me on so many levels.
Spiritually I also feel strong. I feel disconnected from a church environment in a sense yet I feel stronger in my personal relationship with God than I have in a long time. I find myself prayerfully doing the day to day. I feel his hand guiding my actions and for the first time in a long time, I can hear the whisper in His voice as He speaks to me in subtle yet powerful ways. I love the intimate God that we serve!!!
I feel so confident and healthy and strong that I have made a few other changes in my life. Take this personal list of things that have helped me and set your own future goals of ways to feel good about the person you are, or the person you are becoming. We are all on a journey. I have chosen to enjoy it every step of the way and embrace this woman that God has made and is molding!!!
*--I have, for the first time in my entire life, grown my nails so long that I can see the white at the tip! They look beautiful and I can actually paint them. I DO NOT FEEL SELF CONSCIENCE ABOUT MY HANDS ANYMORE!!!
*-- I cut my bangs because I felt like I needed a change. In doing so, I feel different yet beautiful.
*-- I stopped wearing eye liner on the bottom of my eyes. They are big, blue and perfect without all of the extra clutter. I am learning to accept and embrace the natural me because this is who I am and will forever be.
*--I bought a dress offline that was a size 4 (thinking I would need a size 6). Turns out that just like my size 4 jeans it is a little big. I could easily fit into a 2. I love that I can make my body look the exact way I want it to. It's up to me and my determination to do so!
*-- I eat half a turkey sandwhich for lunch. You don't REALLY need the other half--did you know that you're full just the same??
*-- I am still drinking coffee. It has changed me in a way. I cant explain it. It sounds stupid, but I can really tell a difference in myself.
*-- I bought myself a new CD. I havent done that in over a year. It felt good!!!
Anyway, if for nothing else I just want to remember how I feel right now in 5 years. I am at an exciting place in my life. I feel great. My kids are healthy and I have energy to be a good mom! I couldnt ask for anything more. Oh yeah, to date since I had Braden I have lost 70 pounds! (all while still eating my oreos.) If I can do it...you can do it!
I love you all!